Bottom 10: Sooners swoon and the Zips’ late push
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Ryan McGee, ESPN
- Elder WriterNov 2, 2023, 08:00 AM ET Close Senior author for ESPN The Publication and ESPN.com
- 2-time Sports Emmy winner
- 2010, 2014 NMPA Author of the Year
Inspirational idea of the week:
All of my life I’ve attempted so hard
Doing my finest with what I had
Now that I have actually really got a chance
(Toss me tomorrow, oh, oh-oh)
Everything’s falling into place
(Throw me tomorrow, oh, oh-oh)
Seeing my past to let it go
(Toss me tomorrow, oh, oh-oh)
Only for you I don’t regret
That I was Thursday’s child
— “Thursday’s Kid,” David Bowie
Here at Bottom 10 Head office, located in the bushes outside the Michigan practice center where Pete Thamel and Adam Rittenberg conceal with their binoculars searching for Wolverines staffers headed to future opponents’ games, likewise with binoculars, we try not to be like Loki and mess with the primary timeline deep space typically works on. But sometimes deviating down a wormhole becomes our duty.Like this week,
which blurs the line in between the end of one college football week with a capital “W” and the next, seeing as how Week 9 ended in the wee hours of Sunday early morning, however the start of Week 10 had too huge of a Bottom 10 gravitational pull to be prevented. No, not the set of #MACtion games that were used Halloween night, but rather the technique of treats that kicked off Wednesday, particularly the Pillow Battle of the Week of the Year: Episode 2: Electric Boogaloo, between the then-top/bottom second-ranked Akron Zips and the then-top/bottom third-ranked Kent State Golden Flashes.There was no chance
we in great consciousness might have submitted these rankings for a Wednesday reveal with that game having not yet been played. Also, we didn’t have as numerous kids pertain to your house as we had prepared for, so I invested Tuesday night seeing those very first 2 games while eating 32 Enjoyable Size Snickers and snorting a half-dozen Pixie Stix straws, so my hands were shaking so terribly I could not have typed anything even if I had actually wanted to.With apologies to Milton Hershey, the Great Pumpkin, Ziggy Stardust and Steve Harvey, here– finally– is the Week 9 … err, Week 10 … Bottom 10.
1. Sam Houston We Have Issue (0-8)Not even a kontest in between Akron and Kent kould preklude the Bearkats from kontinuing to korner the marketplace when it komes to keeping kontrol of this krest of the Bottom 10 roll kall. Koming up next? Kennesaw State.
2. State of Kent( 1-8 )What. A. Game. The Zips ran in the winning goal with 26 seconds staying for a 31-27 victory. They call the Akron-Kent State rivalry the Wagon Wheel because that’s what the groups play for, a huge blue-and-gold wagon wheel. On the 100th anniversary of their very first conference, Akron’s win cut Kent State’s Wagon Wheel series cause 27-25-1. But that only counts the games that have had the Wagon Wheel as a trophy. Akron leads the all-time series 36-28-2, as the Wagon Wheel didn’t show up until 1946, when the idea was presented by Raymond Manchester, Kent State’s Dean of Guys. The initial trophy never ever caught on, the Spare Tire, presented by Maymond Ranchester, from Akron’s Den of Mean.WE GOT SICKOS
ON THE GROUND
HERES THE LAST PLAY AND AKRON CLAIMING THE WHEEL pic.twitter.com/Pe0rhXH5sE!.?.!— Sickos Committee(@SickosCommittee) November 2, 2023 3. Akronmonious(2-7)This simply in
to Bottom 10 JortsCenter: Late Wednesday night, Akron wound up broken down on the side of the roadway. Sources state the Zips were trying to drive across town and continue their celebration at Chuck E. Cheese but stopped working to make it off school. Amidst all the enjoyment after their PFOW success, somebody chose it would be a cool idea to replace among the tires on the group bus with the Wagon Wheel. 4. EC-Yew(1-7)Editor’s Picks 2 Associated The Pirates followed up their Pillow Battle of Week 8 loss to
Charlotte by losing 41-27 to R.O.C.K. in the UTSA, just days after Roadrunners coach Jeff Traylor suffered a hand injury when a player put a rat trap inside his speaking lectern. A likely story. The reality is he was probably bitten by a real rat, one painted purple and gold and wearing an eyepatch with a tiny parrot on its shoulder, since as anybody who saw”Titanic” knows, the rats are the first to start rushing to leave a sinking ship. Like the Pirate vessel currently sinking in Greenville, North Carolina. 5. BOO!-mer( 7-1)Being in the Coveted Fifth Area is never any fun, especially for a guy like Oklahoma coach Brent Venables, who even during wins stomps up and down
the sideline with a
grimace like his underwear is 3 sizes too small. However, hey, search the intense side, Sooners. Kansas was just about to begin destroying Memorial Arena as part of its multimillion-dollar renovation strategies. You simply let them get a head start with the goalposts. 6. Southern Missed(1-7)The Golden Eagles saw their upset quote at Appalachian State thwarted. Now they host ULM, who, ulm, is on the Bottom 10 Waiting List, ulm, with a record of 2 and, ulm, 7. 7. UCan’t( 1-7) It feels suggest to have UConn in these rankings seeing as how its one win came simply three weeks back, an upset at Rice, and its previous three losses have all been by single digits, including last week’s 21-14 loss at Boston College. Now the Huskies travel to 17th-ranked Tennessee and unbeaten James Madison in consecutive weeks, which– in the words of the dad of the Huskies’head coach– draws and stinks and will not do diddly poo to assist them leave the ranks of the one-win teams.![]()
8. Temple of Doom (2-6)The Owls are still smarting over their last game, a 55-0 loss to SMU. We currently have their next-to-season-finale game circled around as a possibly huge PFOW, when they travel to the home of the Birmingham Bowl to face Bottom 10 Wait Listers You A Bee. That’s their most significant game left due to the fact that they opened the season with a skin-of-their-beak 24-21 win over Akron and don’t have an American Athletic Conference of American Athletics Conference game set up against either ECU or … 9. Charlotte 2-and-6′ ers( 2-6)… these guys. That’s an embarassment when it concerns the Bottom 10, but it’s a good thing when it comes to Charlotte head coach Biff Poggi, who does not require to be on a sideline in Philadelphia in
late November with the sleeves duped his t-shirt. 10. Van-duh-bilt Commode Doors (2-7) The race to the bottom of the S-E-C! has actually turned into one of those southern cookout games where a lot of overserved individuals try to ferret out and get a zigzagging greased hog. Like that scene, this one is surprisingly crowded(Vandy, South Carolina, Arkansas )and yet as sloppy and
unfortunate as it is, we can’t look away. Mentioning stuff that’s slick, Clark Lea and his head host Auburn today before a barbecue sauce-slathered SEC East showdown between the Dores and Gamecocks. Between the 2-and-whatever records and the hot sauce they utilize in Nashville and the mustard sauce they use in South Carolina, well, let’s just say that”Commode Doors”mention isn’t just a joke.Waiting List: UMess, Huh-why-yuh, Baller State, ULM(pronounced”uhlm”), You A Bee?, The Pitt and the Pendulum, Rod Tidwell’s University, Stanfird, the Bearcats with a”c,”all Big 10 schools in Indiana, Michigan State Little Brothers, Tyler from Spartanburg, responding to Tyler from Spartanburg.
ON THE GROUND
HERES THE LAST PLAY AND AKRON CLAIMING THE WHEEL pic.twitter.com/Pe0rhXH5sE!.?.!— Sickos Committee(@SickosCommittee) November 2, 2023 3. Akronmonious(2-7)This simply in
to Bottom 10 JortsCenter: Late Wednesday night, Akron wound up broken down on the side of the roadway. Sources state the Zips were trying to drive across town and continue their celebration at Chuck E. Cheese but stopped working to make it off school. Amidst all the enjoyment after their PFOW success, somebody chose it would be a cool idea to replace among the tires on the group bus with the Wagon Wheel. 4. EC-Yew(1-7)Editor’s Picks 2 Associated The Pirates followed up their Pillow Battle of Week 8 loss to
Charlotte by losing 41-27 to R.O.C.K. in the UTSA, just days after Roadrunners coach Jeff Traylor suffered a hand injury when a player put a rat trap inside his speaking lectern. A likely story. The reality is he was probably bitten by a real rat, one painted purple and gold and wearing an eyepatch with a tiny parrot on its shoulder, since as anybody who saw”Titanic” knows, the rats are the first to start rushing to leave a sinking ship. Like the Pirate vessel currently sinking in Greenville, North Carolina. 5. BOO!-mer( 7-1)Being in the Coveted Fifth Area is never any fun, especially for a guy like Oklahoma coach Brent Venables, who even during wins stomps up and down
the sideline with a
grimace like his underwear is 3 sizes too small. However, hey, search the intense side, Sooners. Kansas was just about to begin destroying Memorial Arena as part of its multimillion-dollar renovation strategies. You simply let them get a head start with the goalposts. 6. Southern Missed(1-7)The Golden Eagles saw their upset quote at Appalachian State thwarted. Now they host ULM, who, ulm, is on the Bottom 10 Waiting List, ulm, with a record of 2 and, ulm, 7. 7. UCan’t( 1-7) It feels suggest to have UConn in these rankings seeing as how its one win came simply three weeks back, an upset at Rice, and its previous three losses have all been by single digits, including last week’s 21-14 loss at Boston College. Now the Huskies travel to 17th-ranked Tennessee and unbeaten James Madison in consecutive weeks, which– in the words of the dad of the Huskies’head coach– draws and stinks and will not do diddly poo to assist them leave the ranks of the one-win teams. 8. Temple of Doom (2-6)The Owls are still smarting over their last game, a 55-0 loss to SMU. We currently have their next-to-season-finale game circled around as a possibly huge PFOW, when they travel to the home of the Birmingham Bowl to face Bottom 10 Wait Listers You A Bee. That’s their most significant game left due to the fact that they opened the season with a skin-of-their-beak 24-21 win over Akron and don’t have an American Athletic Conference of American Athletics Conference game set up against either ECU or … 9. Charlotte 2-and-6′ ers( 2-6)… these guys. That’s an embarassment when it concerns the Bottom 10, but it’s a good thing when it comes to Charlotte head coach Biff Poggi, who does not require to be on a sideline in Philadelphia in
late November with the sleeves duped his t-shirt. 10. Van-duh-bilt Commode Doors (2-7) The race to the bottom of the S-E-C! has actually turned into one of those southern cookout games where a lot of overserved individuals try to ferret out and get a zigzagging greased hog. Like that scene, this one is surprisingly crowded(Vandy, South Carolina, Arkansas )and yet as sloppy and
unfortunate as it is, we can’t look away. Mentioning stuff that’s slick, Clark Lea and his head host Auburn today before a barbecue sauce-slathered SEC East showdown between the Dores and Gamecocks. Between the 2-and-whatever records and the hot sauce they utilize in Nashville and the mustard sauce they use in South Carolina, well, let’s just say that”Commode Doors”mention isn’t just a joke.Waiting List: UMess, Huh-why-yuh, Baller State, ULM(pronounced”uhlm”), You A Bee?, The Pitt and the Pendulum, Rod Tidwell’s University, Stanfird, the Bearcats with a”c,”all Big 10 schools in Indiana, Michigan State Little Brothers, Tyler from Spartanburg, responding to Tyler from Spartanburg.