Bottom 10: Alabama looks into the void, questioning how it

• Ryan McGee

• , ESPN Elder WriterOct 9, 2024, 09:00 AM ET Close Senior writer for ESPN The Publication and ESPN.com
• 2-time Sports Emmy winner
• 2010, 2014 NMPA Writer of the Year

Inspirational idea of the week:

Guess who’s back?

Back again?

Shady’s back.

Inform a good friend.

Guess who’s back?

Guess who’s back?

Da-da-da, da, da, da, da, da, da

— “Without Me,” Eminem

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Here at Bottom 10 Head office, located in the hermetically sealed “Ocean’s Eleven”-proof underground lockbox bunker where Nick Saban is now trying to conceal all understood recordings of his “The only place you play in the SEC that’s not difficult to play at is Vanderbilt” hot take, we are hunched down with our VHS/DVD/TV three-in-one home entertainment system with one specific video on repeat. It’s the opening scene of “The Lion King.” You know the one. When all the animals march toward Pride Rock, hooves, paws and wings assembling to the music of Elton John. Yes, the Circle of Life. And for the next two hours, awkward little Simba can’t leave his own way, is banished, wanders the wilderness doing who understands what, his household thinking he is gone permanently, and after that he returns.It’s the classic

tale of the lost lamb returning. Like Tony Stark. Or Michael McDonald rejoining the Doobie Brothers. Or a Bottom 10 team that begins winning games and leaves our herd for greener championship game pastures. Such as … wait … what’s that the prophet simian is holding up from the suggestion of Pride Rock? Is it? Yes! It is!A Kansas Nayhawk! #Bottom 10 Spoiler Alert: Life comes

at you fast. From October

2022: pic.twitter.com/DhLSpjZGOw!.?.!— Ryan McGee(@ESPNMcGee)October 8, 2024 With apologies to Windstorm Sayers, Greg Ostertag, Tim Rice, Hans

Zimmer and Steve Harvey, here’s the post-Week 6 Bottom 10 rankings

. The New Money Owls have yet

to win in their first season of FBS ball, with their newest defeat coming at the hands of Jacksonville(Not Florida )State (Not Those)Gamecocks, 63-24. Throughout the postgame handshakes, Jax State, who made its relocate to the big leagues simply last year, might be heard saying,”We know it’s rough. Simply hang on. Wait … we made it to a championship game last year and won it. WTH, get it together. New Orleans Bowl champs, kid!” The Golden(plated)Flashes moved up/down to this spot when they were spared needing to play a game during Week 6, allowing other groups to join them in the Five-Loss Club. Now they host the Pillow Fight of the Week of the Year, welcoming 1-5 Baller State. When I went to the wonderful and all-knowing ESPN Analytics computer for a sneak peek of the game, it sent out a little guy who looked suspiciously like Tron, who stated,” Do not you have better things to do with your time? Go outside. Check out a book. Punch yourself in the eye socket. Anything.” The Minors was up to the Sam Houston State Bearkats, whose mascot is a huge intense orange cat, er, sorry, kat. Now they face Western Kentucky, whose mascot is a huge red blob that appears like something koughed up on the karpet.

The bad news? The UAB Blazers were edged by Tulane 71-20. The even worse news? Now they play Army, which is currently the most unstoppable it has been since the tank project of North Africa. Fortunately? The Blazers did not have the worst weekend of any Alabama-based college football programs. Mentioning …

No. 1 Texas vs. No. 18 Oklahoma

Watch Saturday’s Red River Rivalry in between the Longhorns and Sooners on ABC and ESPN+ at 3:30 p.m. ET.Sign up today!|Enjoy the game here – Connelly: Ranking the unbeatens – Horns anticipate Ewers to begin|More CFB news Throughout a weekend when a lot of teams with numbers

next to their names lost, Bama was the only one to have the loneliest number beside its name that lost to a team which hasn’t had a variety of any size beside its name because 2013. Now comes the fun part: enjoying individuals worn houndstooth have no concept how the Coveted Fifth Area works. Kind of like their defense didn’t seem to understand how the Vandy draw play worked. The Other Aggies had the weekend off. Ideally they didn’t switch on their TVs, since they would have had to see their previous quarterback Diego Pavia run all those draw plays against Bama. Temple University, TU, will soon play the University of Tulsa, UT, two weeks before it plays Tulane University, likewise TU, and one month before it plays UTSA, which is part of the University of Texas, also UT, system, and ends up the season playing North Texas, which is UNT, part of the UNT system. But before all those T’s, TU gets a weekend of required TO– time off.

The Minuetmen lost to Notre Dame daddies Northern Illinois and now have the regrettable timing of facing Mizzou the week after it was embarrassed by Texas A&M, aka the OG Aggies. In related news …

The Other Aggies also have the honor of being the recipient of a jaded team revenge tour, as would-be CFP-crasher unLv looks for to recuperate from reminding America that Syracuse still plays football.

And you believed after that finely crafted “Lion King” intro that we ‘d forget?Waiting list: Minute

Rice, Pur-don’ t, UCLA Boo-ins, Fa-la-la-la-la La-la-la-Tech, Flori-duh State Semi-No’s, Baller State, Southern Missed, Whew Mexico Not Whew Mexico State, Miss Sus Hippie State, My Hammy of Ohio, Akronmonious, Why-OMG-ing? Muddled Tennessee State, Troy Bolton State, celebrating too early.