Bottom 10: Streaking in the wrong instructions

• Ryan McGee, ESPN Senior Citizen WriterNov 15, 2023, 06:45 AM ET Close Senior writer for ESPN The Magazine and ESPN.com
• 2-time Sports Emmy winner
• 2010, 2014 NMPA Writer of the Year

Inspirational thought of the week:

There he goes
And he ain’t wearing no clothing
Oh yes, they call him the Streak
Fastest thing on two feet
He likes to show off his body
If there’s an audience to be found
He’ll be streaking around
Inviting public review
Boogity, boogity

— “The Streak” by Ray Stevens

Here at Bottom 10 Headquarters, situated in the very same medical tent where “College GameDay” ices down the knees of all the entrants in Pat McAfee’s kicking contest, we understand what it resembles to acknowledge a streak, whether that run be great or bad.For example, at this late stage of the college football season, one’s résumé is all about streaks. Yeah, yeah, we know all about Georgia not losing a game in two-plus years and the other seven unbeaten teams in the hoity-toity Leading 25. Besides, if we’ve learned absolutely nothing else over the past week (see: Pac-12 versus groups leaving the Pac-12, Big 10 vs. Michigan and fired coaches’ buyouts), it’s that the only true unbeaten force in this world is billable hours.But we live

on the other end the spectrum, the side that doesn’t reveal you all the colors of the rainbow, but rather a big gooey wad of brown that used to be Skittles however is now just a molten blob under the seat of your automobile. We’re speaking about losing streaks. And as you walk through today’s list, you’re visiting a great deal of them. And you’re likewise going to get a few of that various colored goo on your shoes.Don’t worry. You do not require shoes. Due to the fact that we’re going streaking.With apologies to the 1950s Oklahoma Sooners, Joe DiMaggio, Frank the Tank and Steve Harvey, here’s the Week 12 Bottom 10. 1. State of Kent(1-9 )Nick Saban’s

university was supposed to

be preparing for a Pillow Fight of the Week this Saturday, but Baller State had the audacity to make its third win of the season. The good news is that win came by Northen Ill-ugh-noise, Kent’s season finale challenger two weekends from now, which ought to assist the Golden Flashes in one of the Bottom 10 choice committee’s most essential requirements, Weakness of Record. 2. UCan’t(1-9)The Huskies faced Tennessee and James Madison over back-to-back weekends and lost by a

combined rating of 103-9. The worst beatdown for a Husky given that my former pet dog Lucky, who spent his entire life chasing buses, lastly caught one. Don’t fret, he didn’t perish. But the majority of his teeth did. 3. ULM(noticable’UHLM’)(2-8)Ulm, the Warhawks have a made a relatively late, ulm, climb into the crater of the Bottom 10 thanks to an eight-game

losing streak, ulm, the nation’s 2nd longest and a depression that is, ulm, all however guaranteed to reach 9 as they, ulm, check out Oxford, Mississippi, this weekend, where I ‘d wager that, ulm, Wright Thompson, John Grisham and William Faulkner never used the word “ulm”in a sentence in one of their fancy-schmancy books. 4. Van-duh-bilt Commode Doors

(2-9)In case you were wondering who has the longest losing

streak, it’s the Dores, who struck nine straight losses after falling 47-6 to South Carolina. This weekend, rather of resembling the rest of the SEC and arranging a de facto open date, Vandy has a real open date. 5. Pokes, eeh, mon(7-3)I’m a male! I(gave up)40(+a Sought After 5-Spot)! To UCF! The week after beating Oklahoma! 6. Akronmonious(2-9)The Zips followed up their Wagon Wheel win over State of Kent by visiting My Hammy of Ohio and adorning the scoreboard with the number that resembles a Wagon Wheel. Then they lost on the postapocalyptic playing field that is home to the Eastern Michigan University Emus. They close out the season looking for to make a statement in Ohio versus fellow Ohio staters Ohio not Ohio State.

7. The Pitt and the Pendulum (2-8)

The Panthers are stuck in a long losing streak, thanks to their odd win over ninth-ranked Louisville 5 games earlier. But they did simply help Syracuse end its own five-game depression. It’s tough to think this group remained in Charlotte just 2 years ago playing in the ACC championship. It’s likewise tough to believe these Panthers have two times as numerous wins this year as the Panthers whose stadium they played in that night. Somebody needs to inspect the water at Bank of America Arena. I believe the sewage system line may be connected to the wrong pipeline.

8. No-vada(2-8 )How wild, wild west is the Mountain West? The Woof Load reenter these rankings after 2 straight losses to former Bottom 10 residents Huh-Why-Yuh and Yewtah State, after leaving these rankings because they won 2 straight over former No. 1 Bottom 10 group Whew Mexico and San Diego State, who just revealed the retirement of coach Brady Hoke. So, Nevada is now in the Bottom 10 with a 2-8 record, but the groups they beat are both 3-7 and ranked listed below them in the Mountain West standings. However they both beat Hawai’i, who turned around and beat Nevada. Reading all of this back makes me seem like I am actually in the Rockies and my brain is starved for oxygen.

Did I point out that whole lost to Nevada and Utah State and coach retiring thing? Did I mention it’s all occurred in the previous three weeks?

10. Arkansaw (3-7)

I spoke to the Little Rock Touchdown Club on Monday and after the speech gone to with dozens of Razorbacks fans. At least 6 of them firmly insisted that given that Arkansas had simply lost 48-10 to Auburn to put Sam Pittman on the hot seat, I needed to put their cherished Woo Pig in these rankings. I’m always a sucker for #Bottom 10Lobbying, specifically when it is in person. And specifically when those people are pleading with me about their Hogs while handing me a heaping helping of ribs. I’m a sucker for a real-life metaphor. Especially when it’s slathered in sauce.Waiting list: Sam Houston We Have Issue, EC-Yew, Virginugh, the whole lower half of the American Athletic Conference of American Athletics, whining due to the fact that you do not get the cash from the conference you burned down looking for more cash.