Bottom 10: Defense a lost cause in Carolina
- Ryan McGee, ESPN Senior WriterSep 25, 2024, 08:00 AM ET Close Senior author for ESPN The Publication and ESPN.com 2-time Sports Emmy winner
- 2010, 2014 NMPA Writer of the Year
Inspiring thought of the week:
Why ‘d you need to be so unavoidable?You’re everywhere Why ‘d you have to be so unavailable?It’s like you’re under my skin Why did I let you in?Can’t act like you do not exist When you’re
naturally so inescapable Inescapable.–“Inevitable,”Melina KB Here at Bottom 10 Head office, situated in the medical tent where the triage system waits every Saturday to repair the twisted ankles and crushed egos after Pat McAfee’s visitor kickers have been humiliated on”College GameDay,”we understand a little something about awkward football moments.For example, Saturday night at Williams-Brice Stadium in Columbia, South Carolina, home to its own incredibly downer placekicking moment against LSU(too soon?), I was scaling the grandstand stairs to shock my kinfolk throughout the Gamecocks ‘yearly Household Weekend, when all of a sudden somebody shouted,”It’s him!” This wasn’t a tone of, “Hey, it’s him! Ryan McGee, of’Marty & McGee,’ our preferred television program!”No, it was angrier, like,”
Hey, it’s him! Grab him and let’s throw him in the Congaree River while everybody is sidetracked by ‘Sandstorm’! “I sought to my right and realized, oh snap, er, I indicate, oh Zip, it was a whole section of fans worn blue and gold, embellished with styled block A’s and Z’s. Sitting right on the aisle was a prominent senior couple. They stood up, like Clark Griswold’s in-laws angrily gazing down his manager on Christmas Eve.”Akronmonious?”the male said to me, heat in his eyes.”Really?””Um …,”I stammered.” It’s all in the name of good fun.
Simply imagine how terrific it will be when you turn the corner and make it back to the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl again!”Unexpectedly, those eyes softened and Old Man Zip smiled. “Unwind, kid, we aren’t turning that corner tonight, “he said.Then he indicated the scoreboard. It
was 36-7, home team.My #Bottom 10 commitment is immeasurable. On Saturday I raced from Marty & McGee in Baton Rouge to Columbia, SC so I might hunt the Zips face to face. New poll up Wednesday.
pic.twitter.com/ptPsgVfUng!.?.!— Ryan McGee(@ESPNMcGee)September 24, 2024 With apologies to Jason Taylor, Dwight Smith, previous Akron head coach John Heisman and Steve Harvey, here are the post-Week 4 Bottom 10 rankings. Meanwhile, Akron’s mortal opponent made a trip to Not So Delighted Valley for a 56-0 loss to Penn State. That’s its 3rd defeat at the Isotoner-gloved
hands of a Power 4 school, falling by a combined score of 182-24 to Pitt, Tennessee and the Nittany Lions. The good news? It filched$ 3.9 million for those games. The bad news? The Golden Flashes invested$ 350,000 of that to lose in your home to the Red Flash of St. Francis, 23-17. The Owls took on versus the Fightin ‘Byes of Open Date
U, however at their off-week breakfast, they ran out of jelly and thusly even versus an English muffin failed to cover the spread.
The Minors, fresh off a 27-17 loss at Colorado State, will now take their turn dealing with Open Date U. Looking ahead to their Week 6 game versus Sam Houston, according to this email I simply got back from ESPN Analytics … I require to stop troubling them.
The Cowboys just lost 44-17 to the North Texas Mean Green, whose mascot is a green eagle called Scrappy. Now they deal with Flying force, whose mascot is a blue falcon called simply The Bird. If they lose to 1-2 Air Force in your home in Laramie, then the next feathered fiend they’ll deal with will be the one that constantly circles around any dehydrated cowboy roaming lost in the plains, the buzzard.5.
The Old North State
A 3-0 start went up in flames for North Carolina and coach Mack Brown. Bob Donnan/Imagn Images
Appalachian State, NC State and North Carolina integrated to give up an overall of 177 points, losing by scores of 48-14, 59-35 and 70-50 against South Alabama, Clemson and James Madison. It’s the most inexplicable lack for a group of North Carolinians because the Lost Colony.
Forget Georgia-Bama since our first Pillow Fight of the Week of the Century is on tap via the Rio Grande Rivalry, aka the Battle of I-25, aka the L-obos vs. the Whew Mexico State Other Aggies, who are 1-3. These groups dislike each other a lot that last fall a video emerged of then-New Mexico State QB Diego Paiva urinating on the Lobos logo on UNM’s practice field. Now Paiva lags center at Vanderbilt, where the only location somebody can pee is on the field since the stadium around it is still being rebuilded.
After witnessing the Zips personally and seeing how they pushed South Carolina into the second half, I am reluctant to keep them in these rankings. But like that photo of my ex-girlfriend that I keep digging out of the trash after my other half has thrown it away again or my DVD of “From Justin to Kelly,” I can’t make myself eliminate them.
The Minutemen defeated Central Connecticut State, an FCS school from the Northeast Conference that came into the contest with a 2-1 record. One week earlier, heaven Devils made that 2nd win by defeating St. Francis, whose only win is the one we told you about earlier against Kent State and who just suffered a loss to Eastern Michigan, who began their 3-1 season with a win over … Massachusetts. And now EMU faces … Kent State. This resembles a Christopher Nolan movie, but only if the script was written by an AI maker that just had a fifth of Sam’s Choice soda pop spilled on it.
Charlotte supported its only win of the season with a 52-14 loss to Indiana. That win came 2 weeks earlier when the 49ers returned from down 17 late to beat Gardner-Webb by 1. That occurred one week after it lost to UNC 38-20 and two weeks after it lost to James Madison 30-7. On The Other Hand, James Madison also hardly beat Gardner-Webb the week after beating Charlotte, winning by means of a goal-line stand in the closing minutes, however then went to UNC and beat the Tar off the Heels with 70 points and 611 lawns of offense. So, what in the hell would occur if UNC played Gardner-Webb?!
Nothing states,”We are SO all set for the Pac-12!” like getting housed by the then-sixth ranked worst team in the nation, Temple of Doom, 45-29. However, the way adjustment appears to work now, Temple and Utah State will be squaring off in the Pac-12 championship game earlier than later.Waiting list: Temple of Doom, Flori-duh State Semi-No’s, FI(not A)U, FA(not I)U, Southern Missed, the Return of the Nayhawks, Muddled Tennessee State, Troy Bolton State, Hail Mary defenses.